Navigating Grief After Losing Your Person: A Conversation with Sheila Kamuda
- Klaudia Gebert
- Mar 20
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 21
Grief is a universal experience, yet it’s deeply personal. It can feel like an all-consuming fog, making even the simplest tasks feel impossible. For some, grief is a tidal wave of emotions—crashing in unpredictably. For others, it’s an unsettling quiet, a feeling of loneliness that lingers long after the loss.
In this episode of the Self-Reflections Podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Sheila Kamuda, an empowerment coach, author, and widow who has spent years navigating the complexities of grief. She lost her husband, Bob, in 2012 and spent six years learning how to exist in a world without him. Through her journey, she discovered the power of self-reflection, journaling, and reclaiming her life on her own terms.
This conversation is about grief, resilience, and learning how to move forward—without feeling like you’re leaving your loved one behind. Listen or watch below!
The Journey Through Grief: A Non-Linear Path
We often hear about the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But as Sheila shared, grief doesn’t follow a structured path. It doesn’t end when we expect it to, and it certainly doesn’t look the same for everyone.
For Sheila, the overwhelming emotion wasn’t anger or denial—it was loneliness.
“I lost my husband, my best friend, the father of my child. And somehow, I lost myself in the process.”
She described how every day felt like survival. In the early months after Bob’s passing, she would tell herself, “I made it to 5 p.m.”—taking life one hour at a time, because thinking any further ahead was too painful.
Key Takeaway: Grief is not just about losing a person. It’s about losing a part of yourself that was intertwined with them.
Loneliness & Isolation: The Hidden Struggles of Grief
When we think of grief, we often picture sadness. But for many, the hardest part is the absence of connection—the feeling of being completely alone in the world.
Sheila spoke about how grief left her feeling isolated, especially because she and Bob had relocated for work, leaving her without immediate family nearby.
“It was always just me and my husband, and suddenly, it was just me.”
This loneliness wasn’t just about missing Bob—it was about having to redefine herself. She had to navigate finances, parenting, and life decisions alone.
Key Takeaway: Grief often comes with a loss of identity. When someone we love dies, we don’t just mourn them—we mourn who we were with them.
Moving Forward vs. Moving On: The Fear of Letting Go
A powerful moment in our conversation was when Sheila described how grief itself can become a source of comfort.
“I knew what my grief felt like—it was familiar. The idea of moving past it was actually scarier than staying in it.”
This is something many grieving individuals experience. The pain keeps them connected to their loved one. If they start feeling okay again, does that mean they’re forgetting them? Does healing mean they’re moving on?
Sheila’s answer was simple: No.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means finding a way to carry your love forward without being weighed down by the pain.
Key Takeaway: Moving forward does not mean leaving your loved one behind. It means integrating your loss into your life in a way that allows you to keep living.
The Power of Journaling: Writing as a Healing Tool
One of the most impactful parts of Sheila’s journey was her commitment to writing letters to her late husband.
She wrote every single day for six years.
📖 43 journals.
✍ Nearly 2,000 letters.
At first, it was small things—paying a bill, sharing a memory, telling Bob about their daughter’s school achievements. Over time, the writing evolved into a deeply therapeutic practice that helped her process emotions she wasn’t even aware she had.
“It was my way of keeping him close, of making sense of my grief.”
Then, one day, she sat down to write and realized… she didn’t need to anymore.
Key Takeaway: Journaling allows us to externalise our emotions and create space for healing. It’s a way to honour our loved ones while also giving ourselves permission to move forward.
If you struggle with journaling, try these prompts:
“If I could tell my loved one one thing today, what would it be?”
“What are three things I miss most about them?”
“What is something I want to carry forward in their honour?”
Finding Strength & Empowerment After Loss
Grief can make you feel powerless, like you have no control over your life. But Sheila’s story is a testament to the power of choice.
She made a choice to:
✔ Keep going, even when it felt impossible.
✔ Find strength in the small moments.
✔ Rebuild her life on her own terms.
She now helps others as an empowerment coach, reminding people that:
“You are more powerful than you think. You can rewrite your story.”
Key Takeaway: Healing is not about forgetting—it’s about rebuilding. You can hold grief in one hand and hope in the other.
Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone
If you are grieving, know this:
You are allowed to take your time.
You don’t have to have all the answers right now.
Healing doesn’t mean you loved them any less.
As Sheila beautifully put it:
“Grief and growth can exist together. You don’t have to choose between missing someone and living your life.”
For anyone struggling with loss, take things one step at a time. Write. Reflect. Celebrate small wins. And most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Resources from this Episode
Connect with Sheila: Live Out Loud Coaching
Check out other stories of resilience on our YouTube , Spotify and Apple Podcasts.
Join the Conversation
We’d love to hear your thoughts! Share your reflections in the comments or reach out to us on our socials.
Until next time, keep reflecting.
Warm wishes,
Klaudia Gebert
Self Reflections
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